Is anyone listening?

Life is never as simple as it seems.
I'm one of those people who's always unsure of themselves. Whatever situation I'm in, I'm usually testing myself to see if I can respond in some predefined universally perfect manner to some stimulus. I know for the most part that this is ridiculous, that one's actions should always be something natural and sound based on the reasoning at the time and your own instinct. But I still do it, though more covertly.
Why? Why do these things have to be? Why can't I trust myself?
Life is never as simple as it seems.