The Last Stand?

You can accuse me of many things, but calling me honest, moral, hard working and clever would be slander.
There are times in a man's life (or anybody's really) where he is called to do his best, to face his fears, and take his place in the world. Like everyone else, I've faced moments like these often in my life. It is moments like these that you train yourself for, the last wicket stand against the great fast bowler, the delivery that has to be made when you are one run away from losing, and one wicket away from victory.
Many have been called upon on occasions like these, and many have faced the moment down with a glare of steel.
I am afraid to say I don't measure up to those men.
I laugh at such events when they are located somewhere over the far away horizon of the future; I tell myself that I could do it with my eyes close; I try to believe that I savour such moments.
Sadly, I choke at the end. I don't even try to achieve it, I just want to be as far away from that moment as I can. Those occasions strike at my heart, my conscience and more than anything else, my fears; rousing the most dormant and extinct feeling of anxiety that rests in my mind.
Why am I saying this? Being the gutless coward that I am, I want to be able to tell myself 'I told you so' at the end of all this. Goodbye, and good luck. I'm sure you won't need it.