Fear

As I took a break from work and had a minor "excursion" on the pier close to my home, I learned something new about myself.
The pier - as I call it, being unfamiliar with any colloqiual nautical term - is a long, narrow, concrete path stretching out of the beach. Surrounding and supporting it against the action of waves are huge rocky square blocks, playfully positioned like giant sugar cubes, randomly splayed out on top of each other.
People sit on those blocks, at the end of the pier, even hang out fishing rods in hope of getting a decent catch. Today, I decided I'd just sit there and listen to my iPod, while gazing out at the sea. I started thinking, as I do at these moments, trying to find some sort of inspiration, in order to keep me going in life. And I noticed the large gaps in between the blocks.
I realised that they weren't that large - a single pace would have covered some easily. They weren't too deep either, just 3 or 4 metres at most. But they appeared large and untraversable because of their context. A mild wind blowing away from the water and a slightly less than even relief made me feel like I would be crazy to cross one medium sized gap. My heart appeared to palpitate inside me, and my head was full of all sorts of ideas - from "you can cross it", to "one shaky foot step and you could kill yourself", to "all you'll get if you fall is a few bruises and maybe a broken bone".
I eventually forced myself to listen to the one that went, "See? If it was 20cm deep, the same width, and in the middle of the road, you'd jump over it. You're too scared about something that has such a small chance of happening, that you'd probably let it happen in order to prove yourself right."
I stepped over the gap. A bit quickly, fleetingly feeling that going too slow would mean that the force of gravity would overpower my motion and pull me down to grave injury. Or death. I moved quickly enough to cross a few more blocks, though the gaps were slightly smaller.
And I sat down again, and realised, that's what's been wrong with my entire life. I've been too afraid to try anything that appeared to have the slightest chance of danger. Every tiny aspect that could go wrong has always been registered in my mind, and steered well clear of.
I turned around, and stepped over the gap again. Then I told myself, that if the feeling I got when I tried to cross the first time, returned before another decision I had to make, I'd do what I did then. I'd just hang onto everything and walk over that gap once more.

Generation what?

What happened in the 60s and 70s? Two generations of people expressed themselves in different ways, each championing different ideals and "values". The first advocated a peaceful, free, and spiritual world. The other seemed to be a group addicted to either apathy, or to rebellion against everything that conformed to "normalcy". Each of these images and ideals was held in some way by a large number of youth, defining their generation.
What does today's generation have? No cries for peace, no civil disobedience, no anger against some noble cause (except for securing the permanancy of your job, as in France). What is the symbol that defines today's generation?
The internet? Chatting to other people half-way around the world, making friends in countries hardly heard of, taking part in incredibly realistic role-playing games, finding out about interesting subjects. or even expressing their views on blogs. Sounds alright... but is that it?
Maybe the 2 billion people under 18 will be known in the future for being incredibally materialistic, small-minded and feeble. Everyone will be remembered for living in the sphere of their iPod, texting friends about parties, and just coming out to champion a cause only when forced to by guilt.
Sure, every year, we hear that teenagers today are doing so much better than their parents, getting better exam results, and being more socially aware. And much of it is true: students are working harder than generations before them, are doing better in studies, and are able to see and understand more of the world than any before them.
So what? Yeah, people work hard, and they do learn exotic things like surfing and mandarin chinese. But the thing is, they don't have anything to fight for.
Atleast, they aren't fighting out loud. There's nothing for them to live for, no cause to save, nothing that they can care about so much that they all campaign against it. And why aren't they doing it? Cos we live in a culture these days that allows people to just expect other people to do stuff for them. Don't protest, someone else can do it for you. Don't think about doing this, that's someone else's hard work. You work too much. Take a break, hang out with your friends.
I hate this. I wanna go out and do something great, something that people will remember for centuries, something that gives a reason for my existence. Right now, this generation doesn't have want to do anything big, anything massive.
Why? Cos we get everything that's hip and trendy, and we are happy to just play around with our stuff.
I'd like to go after something bigger, an idea that defines who I am - and something new at that. As soon as I find it, I'll wear it on my shirt.